I just arrived in Vienna (again) after booking a flight 2 days ago as a result of a whirlwind of emotions and different reasons than holidays, christmas or any other family celebrations.
I am home because my grandpa is in hospital since a few weeks and already went through 5 operations after they found a melignant tumor.
Its been a tough time for my family and I just couldn’t deal with the situation anymore being in Berlin, on the phone with my (grand)ma every day and not knowing whats going on.
I think we are all aware of the circumstances and that there is a chance he might not survive but you know what…..?
That was not even the most painful thought the last days, it was the fact that i was simply NOT THERE.
To see him (which I am still quite scared of), hold his hand and just being present.
It wasn’t the fear i might regret not coming home to say goodbye or help him with his recovery….I just had a very strong and clear feeling that i should be home and go through that tough time with my family together.
So here I am…waiting at Starbucks for my aunt to pick me up and drive to the hospital.
Right now I don’t even feel anything. I am calm and tired from my flight but the whole situation still seems kinda unreal.
It’s my third day at home and the third day i am going to the hospital’s intensive care to visit my grandpa.
The first time I saw him I was pretty shocked (obviously) but I try to stay strong so I can give him a little fresh energy and put a smile on his face.
I am glad I went home and I feel totally different than the last time I was here for christmas.
Not only the circumstances have changed, also the connection to my family is much stronger and more “tangible”.
We are all in the same situation right now – worried, hopeful, desperate, strong…and eager to give everything so he has some good memories when we have to leave the room again.
I don’t want to go more into detail about what’s going on cause somehow I dont even know myself but the main reason I am writing this is because of YOU!
All of you out there that have sent me lovely messages and supported me when I needed it most.
Thank you for not only being my friends but becoming a new definition of what FAMILY means to me.
I am so grateful and happy to have you all in my life!
Also, I want to finish this post with good and positive words (and some chocolate pix as you can see)
As most of you know, I will be going to Hawaii February 11 to dance with the Soulgasm Hawaii community and discover the beautiful landscape of Oahu.
I might also work on an organic farm to learn more about the produce, plantation and harvest on the island.
Aaaaand…I am coming back earlier than planned! Most propably first week of March!
Right now, there is a lot going on in Berlin I havent seen – or actually havent given the chance to be seen – the last year.
There are so many beautiful and talented dancers/musicians/Djs/singers/rappers out there and I am hungry to learn and practice as well as start teaching hip hop and house dance in spring.
It will be very different from what you have seen or heard about a “Hip Hop class” or …”What is house dance anyways???”
Here is a little insight from the real hip hop and house dance culture:
And lets not forget about the (raw) food world…
I am still making cakes at Veganz, working as a free-lance chef for Kitchensurfing and building up my private chef business that will be launched on my new website Raw Freestyle soon!
Enjoy life and miracles will happen – you just have to open your heart and mind for it!
Love & peace to all of you!